It’s the morning of January 5 and I’m staring out my large living room window whose view is obstructed by my neon-lit frame Christmas tree. I really want to take the tree down, dismantle it, and slide it and its storage box under my bed, a precious stowing space when you live in a mid-century Bronx apartment, until next holiday season. But I remind myself of the date and that tomorrow, Three Kings Day, is the appropriate day to take down my tree. Instantly, I begin to wonder why I’m adhering to this religious date when I’m an atheist. And it begged the question of whether religious-based customs can be the atheist’s culture.

My answer is yes, but it also gives us the leeway to abandon religious-based traditions when they’re not serving us, just as most of us abandoned the religion and faith our families raised us on because they weren’t serving us. I’ve long admitted that I celebrate Christmas culturally, even though I know the real history surrounding the day. And before assumptions are made, it’s not about the gifts for me. Even though I’m a person who enjoys gift-giving, I’d much prefer to show my love and appreciation randomly or on someone’s birthday than on a date that’s also awfully close to my birthday — a much more important date, in my humble opinion. (I jest!) Instead, I enjoy recapturing the joy of the season that I remember when I was a child, spending time with friends and family, and the optimism that comes with a holiday season that culminates in a New Year. But for a myriad of reasons, this holiday season didn’t have the jubilance I needed and I’d much rather forget it actually happened and hope next Christmas is better.

I’ve also considered why Lent and Easter, the other major Christian time period, don’t hold the same cultural value for me as Christmas does. I think it’s because my family abandoned the tradition of gathering for Easter when my cousins and I got too old for Easter baskets, getting dressed up in full Easter regalia, and getting our hair coiffed and primped for the occasion like every other Black kid. But I also think it’s deeper than that. We all began to have a separate relationship with faith and Christianity. Some of us evolved away, some of us grew closer.

But I still haven’t explained why my Christmas tree will probably stay up until tomorrow. I think a life without traditions would be chaotic, and while I believe it’s healthy to create new traditions — my mom and I forego traditional Thanksgiving fare in favor of American Chinese takeout — I think keeping my tree up until Three Kings Day is one that usually serves me well … when the holiday season has served me well. In addition, it alleviates the inevitable test of my anxiety by making the decision of when to dismantle my tree for me. Anyone who has suffered anxiety knows how comforting it is to have even the simplest of decisions made for you.

I know as an atheist that there’s a privilege in being able to choose the aspects of my birth culture that I keep, and some believers and atheists may take issue with the decisions I’ve made for my life, but I am multi-faceted, and no person should think and act as a monolith.