Anger is one of the most intense, destructive emotions we experience as human beings, and when we feel it, we want to hold onto it. We believe our feelings are justified. We want to tell our story and we want the world to know, damn it, that we are angry. We actually become self-righteous about it.
Believe me my dear one, Iâ€™m sure that if youâ€™re experiencing that much anger, then you really do have a right to feel that way.
However, I have some questions for you:
- Howâ€™s that working for you?
- Whatâ€™s it doing for you and whatâ€™s it doing to you?
- How many different areas of your life are affected by it?
- Whatâ€™s happening at work? Howâ€™s it affecting your family, your personal relationships, your good looks, even your health?
- And so, now I askâ€¦what are you going to do about it?
- How long do you want to continue to feel this way?
- How much more of your precious life do you want to waste feeling angry?
The time is now. Itâ€™s time to heal. Donâ€™t let another day go by. Itâ€™s time to stop being so angry.Â How?
Well, there are several ways and rather than choosing one, I suggest that you choose all of them and then some.
First, you have to get it out. Get it out of your system in a constructive, private way by writing it all out. Let it rip, go for it. Pile all that anger you feel inside onto a piece of paper. Everything you want to say to yourself, to the universe, to whomever or whatever you feel is responsible. If you want to scream, write in capital letters and scream, but keep writing. Write until you feel like youâ€™ve said it all. Donâ€™t get up, donâ€™t go anywhere, in one sitting at one time, just sit, feel, and write.
Second, rip it up and breathe. Yes, take some deep gasping breaths and breathe. Let the anger go with each exhale and breathe in peace and understanding with each inhaleâ€¦and, If you can, cry! Cry your little heart out. Hold yourself and cry. Then, once you have a moment to settle down, this is the time to meditate, pray, sit quiet, and contemplate. Turn inward and take care of yourself. Love yourself and send loving thoughts into the universe.
Now, youâ€™re ready for action. The action you must take and you may want to resist, but that action is called forgiveness. Whatever it is, no matter how horrible, you must forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive the person, forgive the situation, forgive whatever it is, but dig deep and forgive. Unbind your heart, free your soul, let go of your justifications, get on with you life, and forgive.
Part of this forgiveness may entail having a difficult conversation and telling someone your sorry. Or, it may mean having a difficult conversation and telling someone you forgive themâ€¦even if they canâ€™t bring themselves, for whatever reason, to say they are sorryâ€¦.and that also may hurt, but this is not about them, this is about you. Itâ€™s not the time for you to build new reasons to be angry â€œshe didnâ€™t even say she was sorry, even after I apologized for my partâ€, let it go. Your intention is to forgive, and your intention must be pure.
Whatever else you know you need to do to heal, do it. However, please, whatever that is, make it beautiful, make it loving, and make it kind. Be gentle in the process. Take care of yourself and take care of everyone else. You can do this. Remember, you are amazing!
Love and Respect,
Wendy is an Executive Coach and founder of the entertainment and divorce law firm Credle & Associates, PLLC. Follow her on twitter at IamWendyCredle
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