Now I ain’t saying you a gold digger, you got needs
You go out to eat and he can’t pay, y’all can’t leave
There’s dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves
-Kanye West “Gold Digger”
It’s a common ritual for women. You spend time finding the perfect pair of stilettos to match that perfect dress that’s inviting enough to let him know you’re a business woman who doesn’t take herself too seriously and can still look good in your man’s sweats. You apply makeup that makes your beauty seem effortless and top it off with your favorite perfume.
He’s invited you to the cute restaurant downtown you’ve always wanted to try but your Mint financial summary reminded you that you maxed out your eating out budget for the month. Too many lunch dates with your girls. No worries. He invited you out so he should pick up the tab.
After a wonderful dinner and awesome conversation, the waiter delivers the check and he looks to you to “go dutch” with him on the bill. But wait, shouldn’t he pay the entire bill?
Well, mainstream pay-for-dates websites want to help women make sure that there is no confusion on who is picking up the check.
HiDine touts itself as the dating site for food lovers where women are taken out to their favorite restaurants. The concept is simple: women have made an investment on their hair, shoes and clothes before gracing your date with your presence and time. He should be chivalrous and pick up the tab. HiDine is free but male members are required to put down on a deposit on the restaurant before any offline activity goes down. Women simply “sit and wait” until offers pour in that they can sift through and accept to enjoy their favorite restaurants.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, a Toronto woman is being called a “gold digger” for admitting to accepting dates purely because she wanted to eat out at nice restaurants. Critics say actions like these leave men wondering if these pay-for-dates sites drill words like “generous” through user’s heads, if they are thinly veiled attempts for women to find a Daddy Warbucks.
“On any dating website people are aspiring for intimacy at some point. But in the language and the messaging on the website there is no suggestion that you are paying for sex,” Carrot Dating app founder Brandon Wade, continues “escorts posing as dates will be exposed and stopped”.
Of the 60,000 downloads of the Carrot Dating app since launch, 25 percent of the offers have been initiated by women according to Wade. In addition, HiDine markets itself as being gay friendly.
Still men wonder if those on the other side of the screen are just in it for those buttery cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster like the Canadian blogger who openly admits she’s in it for the meal.
Well men, sometimes you will spend money and find a great associate, networking opportunity or better yet your soul mate. Dating is not a guarantee. After all, dates do not come with report cards. Without a risk though there’s no reward. Or in this instance, a well-medium steak with a fabulous Cabernet Sauvignon.