Last Friday, my homegirl organized an event led by a professional matchmaker that was designed to help teach men and women how to find and approach good people. I liked that he advised women to actually approach men occasionally, as opposed to simply sitting back and waiting for men to approach, but the part I disliked was the advice he gave to women about dealing with shy guys.
For some reason, most of the men there found that overcoming shyness was their biggest obstacle, so when they revealed that to the matchmaker his advice to the women was essentially: Learn how to make yourself more approachable to these men. However, as a former shy guy, I think telling women that it’s their job to become less intimidating to potential suitors is absolute BS. The onus isn’t on women to look friendlier; it’s simply on the dude to man up and overcome timidity.
Here’s more of said matchmaker’s advice: Women should stop going to events in groups because men are intimidated to approach women in packs, and women need to constantly be cognizant of their facial expressions whenever they go somewhere, so they don’t appear too scary to shy guys. But my question is, why exactly is it anybody’s job to make themselves more approachable to people who lack confidence in the first place? I believe we all should avoid lookingÂ moody and angry on a daily basis just because positivity is good for our souls, but beyond that no one has any responsibility to help improve someone else’s self-esteem.