My girl from college, who I’ve known for years, has the heart of an angel. However, if I were to speak objectively, she looked like Patrick Ewing with a side bang. She purposely wore bras two sizes two small to “set her assets on display” when in actuality it looked like she has four breasts. Yet, she is the funniest, most intelligent, amazingly driven individual I’ve ever known.
This was the source of conflict for my girls and I because we desperately wanted “Keisha” (that’s what we will call her) to have a man.
When we went out would we find ourselves on a mission to “hook herrr up” and when men didn’t bite the bait we desperately tried to feed them, operation “Ego Boost” commenced.
“He was ugly as sin anyway.”
“You see the way he was switching when he walked past us? My gay-dar was clearly off balance.”
“You are too fly to be with a dude that obviously doesn’t know the value of a edge up — looking like Booker T. Washington on crack. Who puts parts in their hair anymore?”
Why do we resort to lies and insults instead of telling our girls the truth?
The fact is women are not stupid. Keisha already knew that we were “just trying to make her feel good.”
One day, I sat down with her, exhaled and said, “Keisha, your bra is too small and your hair doesn’t flatter your cheekbones, mama.”
She looked at me and said, “Ok. Let’s get a makeover.”
It was that simple. Three months later she started a beauty blog and began dating the love her life. Last week, she married him. I, however, am still single!!!
The moral to the story is that while it’s in our inherent nature to protect the egos of our girls, if your friendship cannot survive the “honest talk” then maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship.
One talk launched Keisha into a career and marriage and now I find myself asking her for a “talk.”
Danielle Kimberly is a NJ bred writer and freelancer. Follow her on twitter @mzaleck or visit www.missaleck.com