Courtesy of Vibe Vixen
I donâ€™t like collard greens or sweet potato pie. I donâ€™t eat gritsâ€”with sugar, eggs, shrimp, cheese or salt. Donâ€™t eat them period. Iâ€™ve learned how to play dominoes and spades probably 20 times now and for the life of me, I still donâ€™t know what the heck Iâ€™m doing. I canâ€™t remember the rules long enough to call them up the next time somebody tries to draw me into a game. Iâ€™ve never seen Iâ€™m Gonna Get You Sucka or Coming to America in their entirety. And I really donâ€™t see what all the fuss over Anita Baker is about, although admitting that almost got me beat up one time.
For these and probably a dozen more reasons, Iâ€™ve had my Black card threatened on more occasions than I can rightly count. Even my own daughter tried to take it when it came out that she could beat me pretty easily in two Black girl rites of passage: numbers and double dutch. Forget that my graduate work is in African-American studies or that I can flawlessly transition from the Electric Slide to the Wobble Dance without being that person who gets the rhythm all jacked up. Doesnâ€™t matter. You might be born with it, but holding on to it is a whole different story. Lawd donâ€™t I know it. And you might just lose your black card if:
1. You stumble through the first stanza of Lift Every Voice and Sing (or you only come in loud and proud on the chorus) but you know â€œMoves Like Jaggerâ€ word for word.
2. You can name every character on Gossip Girl but struggle to identify the three original cast members on Dreamgirls.
3. You canâ€™t celebrate Barack Obama being in the White House, even if you donâ€™t agree with his politics.
4. You ease your hand down to lock your car doors or subtly grasp your purse strap tighter when you see a band of young, Black men approaching.
5. You brazenly use the N-word in mixed company or even worse, you call a person in mixed company the N-word.