Today, many black women still carry the weight of the stigma attached to performing oral sex. Take my best friend since high school, for instance. She has given head maybe 2-3 times her whole life, and is married.
Sure blow jobs can be difficult (cue Samantha: â€œThey donâ€™t call it a job for nothingâ€) and usually donâ€™t satisfy the giver, so that plays a role.Â But one day, she finally opened up and admitted she didnâ€™t want to fill the stereotype of the â€œchickenheadâ€ and no matter how much she tries, the thought of getting on her knees conjures images of submission and promiscuity that sheâ€™s not ready to embrace.
This weekend, the same thing occurred over brunch when a girlfriend said she never performs oral sex. Another girl who was with us jumped in to say â€œWell, some women just donâ€™t like doing it,â€ but I suspected there was more to it. And I was right.
She too had been exposed to negative stereotypes about black women performing oral sex, and was hesitant to ignore that mentality and just go for it.
Conversely, a white woman who was also at brunch said she never associated oral sex with being a whore or a â€œchickenhead.â€